I could get me a job walking a dog
Chopping a log, cleaning a bog
With my qualifications
With my qualifications
I could see myself stacking a shelf
As a sales assistant at do-it -yourself
With my qualifications
With my qualifications
My brother worked night and day
At the eurostar terminal
And the government gave it away
So what's the point in university?
For three years I read philosophy
Now I read barcodes all day long
Beep-beep-beep sings that check-out song
With my qualifications
Talking 'bout my qualifications
Would you like to see my PhD?
My BSE? my GCSE?
I gotta first in physics so I ought to know
If your fries are for here or to go
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